The reality of what I had done to myself hit me like a ton of bricks! How did I get here? Why didn’t I put down that bag of chips? Why did I press past that satisfied feeling and get that third piece of fried chicken? Day in and day out, eating Reesie cups and whole bags of red licorice in one day, My God! Standing there looking at myself in the mirror, I could no longer see that fit and trim physic. Now pounds of fat and cellulite had moved in and taken its place. I had a problem, and after many years, I had to face the music. I had an eating problem that developed due to trying to cope with negative issues. I had to do something about this NOW! I had to break this cycle!

Breaking cycles means ending a repetitive pattern of behavior or thoughts that have become damaging to the mind, body, or soul. Simply put, a situation arises, and we have thoughts of stress, anxiety, or fear. As a result of those feelings and emotions, we begin engaging in behaviors that negatively impact the situation (in this case).

Change does not come quickly, but to succeed, we have to understand the elements of changing behaviors and breaking negative cycles:

Getting Ready for change - getting resources and avenues for support to make a lasting change
Barriers to change - knowing that there are things that can prevent you from change, like your mindset.
Relapse- know your triggers, those events, emotions, or interactions that could tempt you to return to old behaviors.

Change is not easy, but once you recognize and embrace the fact that you have to break the cycle of negative behaviors (addictions) such as overeating, sex addiction, addiction to alcohol, smoking, lying, being overly critical, abuse, co-dependency, self-sabotage, or a victim mentality, to name a few (this list is long).

No matter what it is, knowing the following six steps to behavior change will aid in your success in breaking out of these negative vicious cycles.

#1 – Pre-contemplation – the person is not considering a change here. People in this stage are often described as "in denial." They feel that what they are doing is not hurting anyone. If you are in this stage, you can begin by asking yourself some questions. Have you ever tried to change this behavior in the past? How do you recognize that you have a problem? What would have to happen for you to consider your behavior a problem?

#2 – Contemplation – When a person becomes aware of a problem and realizes the benefits that the change will bring in their lives as they consider the costs (what they will have to stop or the time it will take to make the change. Here, they may view the change as a process of giving up something rather than a means of gaining control of their lives (emotionally, mentally, or even physically.

#3- Preparation – Here, the person experiments with minor changes (exercising a little, drinking less, smoking less, etc.) before committing to a new regimen of activities that will bring about the needed change. At this stage, it will help to prepare a list of motivating statements and write out goals. Some support groups and counselors can offer further information for encouragement and structure.

#4 – Action – Direct action to accomplish goals. Here, the person is actively involved in their behavior change, armed with plans, checklists, motivational music and statements, and a made-up mind to reach their goals for change to break out of their negative cycle of behavior. Rewards for steps of success are essential for reinforcing the process of change the person is working through.

#5 – Maintenance – Here, the person successfully avoids old behaviors and keeps up new behaviors for positive change; remember, it takes the average person 21 days to make a new habit. A person must successfully avoid former behaviors while focusing on the recent positive behavior.

If you falter, don’t be too hard on yourself or give up. Instead, remind yourself that it was just a minor setback. As you will learn in the next stage, relapses are common and are part of making a lifelong change.

#6 – Relapse – Triggers. This is a common occurrence in behavior change. Start over. Don’t let setbacks undermine your self-confidence. Change happens gradually, and relapse is a common occurrence. It is a part of the process.

In any behavior change, relapses are a common occurrence.4 . When you go through a relapse, you might experience feelings of failure, disappointment, and frustration.

The key to success is not to let these setbacks undermine your self-confidence. If you lapse into an old behavior, please look at why it happened. What triggered the relapse? What can you do to avoid these triggers in the future?

What Does Breaking the Cycle Mean?